No More Tears (Enough is Enough)

A letter to my people. I have complied a list of a few things that I (along with too many people) have noticed about our community and are no longer afraid to vocalize. If we conquer these demons, the world can be ours.

Dear my fellow gays,

1. Please retire the word drama. We get it, you're "not into drama," are looking for "drama free people," and believe that you should "keep your drama away from me." Reality check, the only people that really have this on their MySpace, FaceBook, or repeat it in real life thrive on drama.
2. You are not that complicated. You go on and on about how complex and complicated and original you are. Really? How so? You look just like every other drunk, skinny, Hollister wearing homo out there. There is already a band called The Pretenders and last time I checked you weren't in it.
3. We are supposed to be what straight men want to be and what women want their straight boyfriends to be like. Too bad a large portion of our boys are tacky, unemployed, living at home, and unambitious, wait, am I describing the gay or straight guys?
4. Just because you're gay, doesn't mean your life would make a good movie. Or that you are a good writer. Gay just means you like dick.
5. Having Dior sunglasses doesn't make you fierce. Do you even know anything about fashion? Louis Vuitton makes more than wallets and Chanel makes more than glasses. Stop using being a "fashionista" as your excuse to be a label whore. And don't pretend to know about it when you don't. That is what makes you an idiot.
6. 5'6 and 130 lbs doesn't make you fat. Stop complaining. Those french fries you threw up after drinking and dancing at Rage won't make you a cow.
7. Being gay also doesn't make you a supermodel. Enough with the wannabe pictures.
8. If you like sex and have it a lot, own it. Rock it. Don't pretend you're a Charlotte if you're a Samantha. And if you're a Miranda, own it. Not everyone can be Carrie.
9. Enough with the "top talk." We know you're not one. So bend over like we know you like it.
10. Just because your life is a fake Fendi and you secretly mooch off of your financial aid and boyfriend's salary while fucking other people behind his back, don't try and ruin your neighbor's life. Some of us, are real Fendis. Check the lining.

:)
-D