I Wanna Be Sedated

I am a very healthy person. I haven't broken a bone, sprained anything, or have any major diseases. A flu here and there, a cold a couple times a year, that's about it. I don't even get springtime allergies. I used to get mad at my parents for giving me such good genes since all the other kids at school got to have broken bones and allergies. So I was more than surprised when a few days ago I developed a hideous pain in and around my eye. It also made me teeth a bit sore but couldn't really keep me from food (I don't think much could keep me away from food, but anyway). It felt as if I had been socked in the eye and I couldn't remember getting into any domestic altercations or bar fights recently, so that nixed my first idea.

After researching with my doctor, and by doctor I mean, WebMD and my Mayo Health Clinic Self-Care book, I discovered this torture to be nothing but a sinus problem. I didn't even know everyone has a sinus, I thought simply some people have them and some people don't, like back hair or talent. I like to think of it that way, whatever the truth of it is, in my mind, I didn't have it before and Lord knows I am not going to host something that was uninvited. Nonetheless, it was causing distress in my life, relationship, and enjoyment of my weekend. This sinus had no right disrupting my affairs and was going to receive its eviction and cease and desist notice asap.
In fact, this unwanted house guest was so painful I had to cut my gym routine short.

As if being a gay man in our shallow world was not enough. As if my feeling bad for only going to the gym four times a week didn't make me feel like an outcast in our depthless community. But now I was supposed to be sick and not go to the gym? I might as well be outcast to Riverside County or the Northern desert parts of LA County where the freaks and losers go. Gay men pretty much get categorized into two categories, those who care about how they look and those who really don't, and I was not about to be put into box number two. Hell, if I was, cancel my gym membership and bring me a pair of ill fitting pants and square toe shoes.

After my short gym visit, I raced to the market determined to find the strongest most potent sinus medication; perhaps what they use on elephants or horses when they get sick. A shopping tip I extend to my followers, is that I found out that sinus medication is basically pain reliever (acetaminophen) and nasal decongestant (pseudoephedrine) in one pill, but they charge you more money since it's only one pill. I had both at home already, so I saved myself some money, (take that pharmaceutical industry). I drugged myself up and allowed the medication to break down the door of my sinus and escort, no wait, drag their ass out of my body. I imagine the scene looked like when the US government burst into that house in Miami and stole Elian Gonzalez out of the closet at gunpoint, except my sinus infiltration was a bad seed.

I feel better and no longer want to jump into a moving train. I expect a speedy recovery. Although, I wish I could say I look forward to going back to the gym and completing a full workout, I don't. Unfortunately, I'm just not that sick.

:)
-D