Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Judging by what you see on television, you would think that the gym was merely something ubiquitous in gay culture. And to a certain extent it is, depending on the circle you run in, or how shallow you and your gaggle of gays are. Some of us go to the gym for health reasons, some go for shallow reasons, some go to have sex (not me, I've never had the desire to get down and dirty at the gym, frankly I feel like I should have a paper bag over my head at the gym since you would think I'm channeling the love child of a rat and Jabba the Hut). I like the gym though, I really do. It took me a long time to feel the benefits of exercise and working out on my body. I am in no way a gym rat, on average three-five times a week is how often I go. But, I have come to the realization that I'm a much better person when I work out.

While we're on the subject, let's just keep it real. Another reason we go to the gym is because clothes look better when you're worked out and you get more attention when you work out. I don't think I will find anyone who disagrees with those statements. Taking that into consideration, we all have areas of our body we would like to improve on whether its that washboard stomach, bigger biceps, slimmer legs, or little ol' Betty Backfat. And taking that into consideration, we as gays are constantly comparing ourselves to each other, who has better arms, who has better pecs, who has a smaller waist, etc. Life is one big dick measuring contest.

As we get older it only gets worse and we find the battle of the bulge becoming more intense. I will admit I am guilty of this behavior myself. We are always trying to one up each other in the physical department and be the best and brightest body out there. That's another reason we go to the gym. We're competing against each other. What for exactly? It could be to be the cutest one at the bar or to have that little something extra on your resume in the dating world.

I find it the strangest when you haven't seen someone in a while and last time they looked like Michael Phelps little sister and the next time you run into them at a bar you think you're being pushed by the Hulk, or Taylor Lautner (is there really a difference?). The next few minutes are spent casually stalking them to notice the massive muscle gain. How did they do it? They must be taking something. I wonder what it is. More importantly, where can I get some? Then you have an annoying benefit of the doubt person with you who thinks they did it the old fashioned way. That particular thought may seep into your mind and you may start to believe it, until you start seeing everyone around you bulking up like they are the body equivalents of Costco. I have had to stop myself from running up to these folks and grabbing them by the shoulders (which are pretty much as big as my waist) and shaking them down until they're desperate to tell me how they have achieved such physical greatness.

I really don't see an issue with a little enhancement here or there. I read about a monthly shot that your doctor can give you (with a few bucks under the table) that is supposed to get you pumped and ripped but with a natural tint to it, only mild side effects. Those being a bit of bacne and one day a month of aggression and mood swings. Helloooo, they make oxy pads and my boyfriend already thinks I'm crazy so what's to lose? Bonjour bigger biceps!